Don't Walk Away From Me
by Walk Away Love
Summary: HarryLavender, Some HarryDraco, some ParvatiLavender. Lavender isn't what we think. She's in love with Harry. Not a lovesick story, lots of argueing and misunderstandings
1. Train Ride

Lavender Brown was a self described suicidal bitch. Okay, maybe not self described. Many people viewed her as a snob. She didn't blame them, really. She kind of was. It wasn't because she thought other's were beneath her or anything, it was because she had to act like that.  
  
In the Brown family, feelings weren't discussed, problems were ignored until they went away, and marriage for love was a rarity. Like any 'Self respecting pureblooded family', as her father said, they married purebloods. Only married half-bloods if they had to. But, really, if you marry a half-blood and you're a pureblood, your kids are considered pureblood.  
  
She was the only girl, an asset beyond all measure. She could form an allegiance, a bond, between a wealthy, respectable pureblood or half-blood family. Preferably pureblood, thank you. So, right now they wanted her to marry Neville Longbottom or Dean Thomas. But she had her eye on a handsome half-blood.  
  
He had dark, ebony colored hair, he was tall, muscled and thin, an excellent Quidditch player, with fathomless, beautiful, sad bright green eyes. Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived, was the one she wanted. Lavender didn't care that he had a fifty percent chance of dying. She had had a crush on him since third year, and that crush had grown into love.  
  
In her diary, she had written detailed entries of her love for him, of her dreams for a future they might share. A future that was unlikely, because, if truth be told, he seemed to have his heart set on Cho Chang. Some said he fancied Parvati, some said he fancied Luna. But Lavender knew him. True, he HAD fancied Cho, but now he fancied Draco Malfoy.  
  
She respected him for that. Really, she did. He had the courage to like a guy, and not make a secret, and remain confident in himself. She knew that probably only Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, and herself knew the truth. Lavender had seen the longing looks shot in Draco's direction. She saw them, because they were the same looks she shot at him.  
  
She had once confessed her love for Harry to Parvati and Mia Dinn, one of the other girls in her Dormitory. They had just stared, shocked, then laughed. "Good one, Brown." Mia had said, her eyes tearing from laughing so hard. Yes, she had doubted him during their fifth year, but that showed she was human, showed that she wouldn't just accept things because the boy she loved said them.  
  
One thing Lavender Brown wasn't was blind. Lavender was jarred from these thoughts when Parvati called her name.  
  
"Lavender, what would you say if I said I liked Ron Weasley?" Parvati asked, setting down her Seventeen magazine. Parvati was a half-blood. Her mum was a muggle, she knew about muggle things. Liked them even. Lavender raised one perfectly plucked eyebrow and twirled a strand of her dark, wavy hair around her finger.  
  
"I'd say, Jesus Christ bananas about time you liked someone. That goes to this school, anyway." Lavender said, laughing a little. She could hear Harry's raised voice and wondered what was wrong. She cocked her head a little to the right to listen better.  
  
His voice returned to normal and she sighed. "What's wrong, Brown?" Parvati asked.  
  
"Don't want to go back to school." Lavender said with a shrug.  
  
"Yeah, good point. So, what should my approach be with Ron?" Parvati asked, opening the window a bit and taking out a fag.  
  
"Let me have one." Lavender said, handing Parvati her blue lighter. The flame flared, the smell of sulfur invaded their noses and made Lavender relax slightly. Fire and sulfur always did that to her. Made her relax, made her calm.  
  
Lavender inhaled the smoke, held it in her lungs for a few seconds and let it out slowly. Parvati put her small, black stiletto clad feet on the seat. Lavender crossed her legs and leaned forward, her skirt prevented her from doing as Parvati did.  
  
"Mum and dad want me to marry Neville or Dean." She said through a cloud of smoke.  
  
"Yeah? I wouldn't mind Dean, he's a good snogger, but I'd kill myself slowly and painfully before I'd marry Neville Longbottom." Parvati said, giggling.  
  
"I dunno...He is kind of cute when he ties his hair back. And I like his eyes. Have you seen his muscles, though? They're pretty nice." Lavender said, flicking ash out the window. Parvati nodded.  
  
"Yeah, his muscles are nice. Wonder how he got them.....?" Parvati asked, throwing her fag out the window and getting another.  
  
"Probably weeding the garden for his gram." She said, untwisting the strap of my pale red tank top.  
  
"Yeah, I guess. Did you hear about Diana Bruce?" Parvati asked, lowering her voice.  
  
"No, what about her?" Lavender asked, leaning back against the seat. Diana Bruce was a fourth year whore, and Parvati's cousin.  
  
"She's pregnant. It's Draco Malfoy's kid. She's getting an abortion next week." Parvati said, disgust in her voice.  
  
"An ABORTION?" She asked, stunned.  
  
"Dumbledore wants her to, I think. Malfoy's kid, you know. She's a mudblood. Lucius might kill her. I would if I were him." Lavender said, already losing interest. They fell silent. Lavender threw the butt of her fag out the window, and said a spell to dispel the smoke, and the smell from the compartment and from there bodies.  
  
"Can't wait to see Ron." Parvati murmured a bit later. I can't wait to see Harry, Lavender thought.  
  
"Yeah. I think Hermione fancies him." I said, flipping through her YM magazine. Parvati brought out a small CD player with speakers to attach and put on No Doubt. We both fell silent, listened to the music, and read Parvati's huge stash of magazines for the rest of the trip. 


	2. Realizing

Lavender pulled her robe on over her clothes, braided her hair with precise, practiced movements, and slipped a small bottle of whiskey into one of the inside pockets. Her eyes moved to Parvati, who was putting on a skirt (it was a tradition for all girls to wear skirts the first day back. Had to keep the boys happy). Her longs legs were shapely and toned.  
  
Lavender bit her lip, and looked away. With a shaky hand she applied some lip gloss. You don't like girls, she told herself. Her head protested, asking why she always noticed a pretty girl, asking why she wondered what it would feel like to kiss Padma, wondered what Parvati's skin felt like.  
  
Hormones. That's what it was, hormones. The train jolted to a stop, and Parvati threw her things back into her trunk. They walked out together, gossiping about Pansy and Draco. She bumped into Harry, and blushed.  
  
"Hey." She said softly, giving him a small smile. He gave her the grin that made her weak in the knee's, not to sound clichéd.  
  
"Hey. Mind if I share a carriage with you? Ron and Hermione are arguing over something stupid and I really don't want to listen." Harry said, sounding guilty.  
  
"We don't mind." Parvati said brightly, batting her eyelash's at him.  
  
"Thought you liked Weasley?" Lavender whispered as they got in a carriage.  
  
"Is it against the rules to flirt?" Parvati asked.  
  
"You want Ron or not? I suggest you don't flit with his best friend." Lavender replied angrily.  
  
"Good point. Stop sounding bitchy." Parvati said, squeezing Lavender's hand.  
  
Her skin tingled where Parvati touched it. She looked down at the ground, thankful it was dark.  
  
"How was your summer, Lavender?" Harry asked in an attempt to make conversation.  
  
Lavender shrugged. "Boring and dismal as usual. What else can you expect from two fifty year old parents who want to force me into a marriage?" Lavender asked bitterly, revealing more than she meant to.  
  
"I see." Harry replied softly. "Who do they want you to marry?"  
  
"Neville or Dean. They're both purebloods. Can't marry Draco. He is to choose between Pansy and Ginny. Someone he hates versus someone who has no brain and resembles a pug...." Lavender said thoughtfully.  
  
"Gin? Really?" Harry asked, leaning forward.  
  
"Yeah. She's one of the purest purebloods besides me and Neville." Lavender replied, shrugging.  
  
"Weird." Harry said, falling silent.  
  
"How was your summer, Harry?" She asked timidly.  
  
"You live with muggles, right?" Parvati chimed.  
  
He nodded. Gloom seemed to settle over them, and Lavender felt anger and self hate being projected from Harry. She looked at him with troubled eyes, hoping it was just a phase. Hoping it would leave.  
  
"Same." Harry said, seeming to choose his words very carefully.  
  
She almost called him a liar. The carriage stopped and Harry was the first out, almost bolting. He paused, held out his hand to help them down, and then all but ran to find his friends.  
  
"Did you see the way he looked at you when you got out?" Parvati squealed. Lavender shook her head, her breath catching in her throat. Parvati grinned and rolled her eyes as if to say 'Child, you are so blind'.  
  
"He looked at you liked you were a.....a....well, not a piece of meat, and not a girl...Kind of both....." Parvati said.  
  
"I think you drink to much alcohol." Lavender said, sneering.  
  
"If I do, you do." Parvati sing-songed.  
  
"Yeah yeah." Lavender replied.  
  
She caught sight of pale, pointed face in front of them, turning to face them, and she gave the face a seductive smile. For all the inter-house rivalry between Slytherin and Gryffindor, Draco appreciated beautiful girls when he saw them, and hardly ever passed up a chance to use them.  
  
"Brown." He said coldly, his eyes traveling up and down her body, making her shiver. Lavender watched as his eyes followed the ebony haired, average height boy walking slowly up the steps, flanked by Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, Ginny, and Dean. The look in his eyes was longing and sadness.  
  
"I think we might have a bisexual boy in our midst." Lavender said conspiratorially  
  
"Well, that's a change. How many have we counted now? All of them, mind you. Gays, lesbians, bi's." Parvati asked as they entered the Great Hall.  
  
"Twenty." Lavender said.  
  
"Christ." Parvati sighed, waving to Justin Finch-Fletchly.  
  
They sat down, close together so they could talk without attracting attention. Lavender felt Parvati's leg pressed against hers and her breathing quickened minimally.  
  
That night, when everyone was asleep, Lavender Brown cut herself for the first time and marveled at the prettiness of the little red river of blood. 


End file.
